I hope this post finds you well.

Just wanted to share something I’ve been thinking about…

I recently contributed to an i Paper article on the one word that might be holding you back at work, and it got me thinking more broadly about how we dilute our communication without even noticing.

There is absolutely a time and a place for softening your language, and I’m not saying ditch it entirely. But overuse can undermine your message and create an impression of less confidence than you actually have.

It’s also worth pointing out that this isn’t a women-only thing. Research suggests women do it more often, and there are real reasons for that, but I coach men who do it too. Many of us were taught that being likeable means being agreeable and apologetic.

So if you’ve just done a scan of your sent folder and cringed – don’t beat yourself up. I still catch myself using “just” more than I’d like, and struggle to find more meaningful alternatives to “I hope you’re well” sometimes. But awareness really is the first step. From there, it’s about being more intentional with the language you choose.

Want to read more? I was also featured in this BBC article on the same topic.