Does anyone else ever felt a bit left out with all the talk about having a “work wife” or a work BFF?

Work friendships matter, but they don’t always look the way LinkedIn posts make them seem.

I spent eight years in the corporate world. I had friendly relationships at work, but never had that one person I deeply clicked with, or saw regularly outside of work. And when I became a manager, it felt even harder.

At first, I tried to lead by being liked. I avoided difficult conversations and hoped that being amenable would automatically make me a good manager. It didn’t.

With time and support, I learned that real leadership is often uncomfortable, and that avoiding tension usually creates more of it.

We spend so much of our lives at work. When you don’t feel part of a support network, that loneliness can creep in quietly.

For me, it made the Sunday night blues even worse – not to mention the back-to-work-after-the-Christmas-holidays blues.

In this week’s i Paper column, I respond to someone navigating this right now. Their close colleagues have left, the team feels cliquey, and they’re unsure where they fit.

I share what can genuinely help, and how to be friendly and professional without forcing friendships or over-accommodating.

Keen to read more?

Goals: Can you have too much of a good thing?

Interviews, presentations, networking: How can we get better at things most people dread?

Feeling stuck? Start with your values.